This fine evening we’re here with Doc Splatter, movie reviewer and advice columnist.
Welcome to Keen Halloween, Doc!
The pleasure is all yours.
Why do you help so many people with your advice? Do you enjoy “giving Humanity a hand?”
I do whatever I can to make people better, stronger and faster. But without bionics. This is especially important for when the zombie apocalypse happens. Note that I said “when.” Not “if.” “WHEN.”
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Why did you retire?
Oh, I’m not retired. I’m in hiding. When you’re the pre-eminent “advice giver of the supernatural,” you sometimes make some powerful enemies.
I’ve read that you live in a secluded mountain cabin, far from the “prying eyes of society” – what drew you to come out for an appearance at Keen Halloween?
I heard you’re serving barbecued Gila monsters. (pregnant pause from Daniel) Am I wrong? Is that not happening?
So… um… are you a real Doctor?
Doctor, yes — a doctorate in Bringing the Funny (it was an online course I recall).
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What advice would you give to folks attending Keen Halloween? Any tips?
Stay hydrated, especially with holy water.
Is there any obscure Halloween-themed movie-film that you could recommend for our Keen Halloween Patrons?
I think a lot of people would automatically think of the John Carpenter films, but why not try 1981’s “Hell Night?” It’s got a by-the-numbers plot, sex-starved college co-eds in costumes, a scary mansion, Linda Blair and an indestructible motard with an axe. Good times.
Are you going to be polite (non-dangerous), or are we going to need to contact the Fire Marshal/State Trooper/Parole Officer about your appearance at Keen Halloween?
I likely won’t be able to bring my trusty chainsaw. TSA rules on carry-on items have gotten so restrictive.
Lily Munster or Morticia Addams?
Lily. A-doy!
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Doc Splatter is the creation/alter-ego of Paul Horn, the cartoonist behind the long-running and well-crafted comic, Cool Jerk.
Hey Paul! What’s your inspiration for Doc Splatter?
Oh, he’s just that guy you wish you could be — the one who can ninja-kick the heads off of zombies while devising creative ways to dispatch hillbilly vampires.
Is Splatter really as scary as he looks?
It totally depends on the lighting.
You seem really well-adjusted; have you really watched hundreds of slasher movies?
I — er — Doc Splatter has a list of more than 300 splatter movies he’s given ratings to, and the most-recent one on that list I think is “Pet Sematary (1989)” He stopped keeping track right around then, but I know he’s seen scores upon scores more since.
Cool Jerk is really your core brand. How long have you been creating Cool Jerk?
I’ve been creating Cool Jerk weekly (more-or-less) since 1991, and comic strips with many of the same characters since 1987.
You’ve been a publishing madman; How many printed volumes of Cool Jerk / Doc Splatter have you created in total?
I have three trade paperback collections of Cool Jerk and one for Doc Splatter. I’ll have all of them on-hand at Keen Halloween. Cool Jerk volume four will be out early next year.
What is it that appeals to you about the printed page?
Nothing against online comics (especially since Cool Jerk is distributed that way each week), but nothing beats reading comics in book form. There’s like 10 times the detail, and it’s nice to read a comic without needing to fire up the computer.
Halloween – dead, dying or ALIVE!?
Halloween — it’s equal parts UNdead and ALIVE! “IT’S ALIVE!” (a la Colin Clive… or Gene Wilder)
What’s the coolest Halloween trick-er-treating costume you had as a kid?
Sadly, they were mostly the off-the-rack, plastic-faced, fire-resistant crap costumes from the local Meijer Thrifty Acres. I wish Keen Halloween was around 30-40 years ago! But once I got to college, my favorite costume was a homemade Michael Myers (the mask was from Sears IIRC).
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What’s your favorite monster of all time?
First and foremost, Godzilla. As far as “monsterS” (emphasis on the plural) go, I’m a zombie guy, then vampires, then pants-wetting aliens (meaning: aliens that make you wet your pants, not aliens that wet their own pants).
What’s your favorite Godzilla collectable?
I’ve got one of those remote-controlled 1954-style Gojira kits with the metal skeleton and rubber skin, which walks and roars and swings its tail. Just a couple days ago, my friends Sean and Lacie hooked me up with a special San Diego Comic-Con limited edition fiery orange Godzilla, which is three times as glorious as my description. And in 1995, I did three pages of infographics and illustrations to accompany a (The San Diego) Union-Tribune feature on Godzilla’s death, written by John Layman (Eisner Award-winning writer/creator of Chew). It won a few awards. I’m pretty proud of that.
A huge THANK YOU for Mr. Horn (and Doc Splatter) for supporting our inaugural Keen Halloween. Come down and see what Cool Jerk is all about!
Thanks, Daniel! We (The Doc and I) are looking forward to it!
You can followup with Cool Jerk on the official site, Twitter, and Facebook.